Heart and Mind

A central insight in a major text on conflict management is the importance of ‘leading with our hearts,’ if we want to learn to be effective in the difficult conversations that make a difference.  The Atlantic Monthly just published an article about a course on Confucian philosophy (taught by a professor Puett at Harvard) and made a related point.

Many of us ‘tend to believe that humans are rational creatures who make decisions logically, using our brains. But in Chinese, the word for “mind” and “heart” are the same. Puett teaches that the heart and the mind are inextricably linked, and that one does not exist without the other. Whenever we make decisions, from the prosaic to the profound (what to make for dinner; which courses to take next semester; what career path to follow; whom to marry), we will make better ones when we intuit how to integrate heart and mind and let our rational and emotional sides blend into one.

‘Zhuangzi, a Daoist philosopher, taught that we should train ourselves to become “spontaneous” through daily living, rather than closing ourselves off through what we think of as rational decision-making. In the same way that one deliberately practices the piano in order to eventually play it effortlessly, through our everyday activities we train ourselves to become more open to experiences and phenomena so that eventually the right responses and decisions come spontaneously, without angst, from the heart-mind.

Recent research into neuroscience is confirming that the Chinese philosophers are correct….’

You can read the entire article in The Atlantic. 

The idea of ‘training ourselves to be spontaneous,’ is a perfect illustration of the power of paradoxical thinking.  From a literal, either/or, dualistic perspective, planning to be spontaneous is internally contradictory. 

But this is what we do when we try to learn (in the classroom, in our families, in general):  we force ourselves to try something unfamiliar and awkward, something we are lousy at or uncomfortable with…then we do it over and over until it becomes second nature, and suddenly we are living a thoughtful life…as a habit of the heart, where we can be spontaneous and be our best selves at the same time.