57
All the years of near constant competition have taken a toll. I would not say my body is worn out, but there is no doubt that I feel my body in ways, everyday, that I never imagined possible even at 40, much less at 18. This is the nature of things, of course, and better than the alternative. If I were to do it again, I would likely play more games, more intensively, so this post is not me complaining. I still love games and competition and working up a great sweat. Love it.

But at 57 I also feel it during and afterwards. Growing up I was always outside playing. Usually a sport, though often a made-up game because we did not have enough people or the right equipment for a legit game of whatever. In high school I loved the classroom stuff but looked forward to practice (or game) after school, just about every day. I always slept well, falling asleep immediately.

In college, I substituted a combination of intramurals (softball, flag football, hoops, ultimate) with lots of time spent on spontaneous playing as well. College included two years in China, where I played on the university hoops team--so practice daily, as I like it. This continued at Fletcher and UW as I (shockingly) earned a PhD. My time in Seattle added intensive hiking and camping to my list of things I love to do.

So, when I moved to Akron at age 35 I was still playing some sort of intense competitive game or hike daily. Every day. Without exception. It was my foundation stone. My coping mechanism. Even though I did not construct it that way or think about it that way at the time. For 15 years in Akron I played hoops at least three times a week (lunch game at school), plus volleyball weekly, added golf and continue hiking.

I cannot remember when now, but sometime around when I turned 52 or so, I began to feel lots of pain in my back after hoops. By 54 I had to stop. By 56 I stopped playing volleyball and golf too. Now I play intensive ping pong 3 times a week. Love it. Not the same, but love it. It fits 57.

Anyway, I note all of this because I am noticing it. Prior to stopping hoops my daily decisions were routine, go out and do what you love. It was mostly hoops, but it could have been anything active. Then I had to consider my back. Since then I now have to consider my sugar intake and weight as well. There is no time I am not in pain. Not to the point of distraction, but if I sit down and do inventory I can list lower back as nearly always at a low level of pain. Feet, particularly ball of my right foot, also. Knees. Right elbow. too. Upper back often as well. Neck comes and goes.

This may sound like a complaint list but it is not. I am marveling at how much more I notice at 57, about myself and others and the world. A lot more. It is cool to notice more, but disturbing to recognize how many years I lived in some sort of fog.

More important than all of this, however, at 57 I am seeing and appreciating the people in my life as I never did before. All that matters to me circles the hub that is Julie...Philip and Brian...Mom & Dad, Tom, Ray and Lori...friends. It is a great feeling to be 57 and celebrate life like this, to come to a place where I daily appreciate the simple things and the people I love. It also makes life feel a lot more fragile, in a mostly good way, but still feel vulnerable in ways I never have before. So, 57 is great. Awesome. Real. I never imagined life and love would be like this or could be so amazing.