Papa
The joy of a Jemma visit. Her laughter and endless energy amaze and delight.

Hearing her say 'Pahh' and open her arms wide to invite a hug...nearly indescribable happiness.

Being 'Papa' includes being nearly 60. Man, did that sneak up on me! Listening to Charlotte describe her accomplishments at school and doing card tricks with Leo and juggling with Jemma (and, of course, living with Jules but that goes without saying) much more than soften the blow, but it can no longer be denied. I am an old dude.

Looking back, I can see the signposts for the extra ten pounds over my high school graduate weight that I carry now. Until I was about 40 I played some sort of intense physical game at least once a day, usually more. I would cram in a 2-hour game of hoops, do a long hike with Buddy, and play golf or volleyball later that day.

Every day. Ultimate. Body surfing. Whiffle ball. Softball. Random 'race you to that tree' games.

By 50, I had to stop joining the other faculty and staff at the Rec lunchtime hoops games MW&F. Volleyball gradually declined to zero by 55. My golf partner took a job in NC, and I never really got interested enough to try to revitalize golf. My baseball glove, that I have had since before high school, gets no use anymore.

Now I play ping pong two or three times a week. Love it. Intense. So thankful to have it. I would like to say I also lift and do some bike work in the Rec, but that is so episodic it is best to describe it as mostly not happening. Never really liked 'working out,' mostly like playing games. I do still walk Boomer just about daily and that is a source of great joy and relaxation. But the level of physical activity is now so much less than at 40 or even 50.

It happened gradually, so it usually does not feel like a huge loss. But it is a major change. It feels something like a voracious reader losing their eyesight. But, of course, it is not like I had a choice! But I was noticing this gradual trajectory today when a snow day did not result in a decision to go skiing or skating or hiking. Or to have a snowball fight or organize a touch football game. Oh well. As my parents say, it is far better than the alternative!