Numb. We have a new president. Another peaceful transition of power. He will need to build coalitions with member of Congress to get anything done and in two years we get another shot and then two years after that. And we need to protect our fellow citizens of color, new arrivals from foreign lands, women, young boys & girls, and those who choose to put their faith in Islam.

Head spinning. We should be able to contain the damage. Maybe doing so will bring moderates in both parties together into working coalitions? His biggest ideas will likely not be acted on: deportations, wall, religious bans. He is likely to try to repeal and replace Obamacare. He might disrupt our core international alliances. Financial markets are reading him as a threat. He is likely to be an ongoing, terrible, role model for a generation of young boys: we have to teach them otherwise.

Heavy heart. For the last eight years I watched as McConnell ran point on unpatriotic obstructionism. It is important to me to find a way to not repeat that now. We need the federal government to be able to address the challenges we face. For me, I will oppose ideas I see as counterproductive and remain open to compromise and grand bargains. I will try not to simply assume anything he says is wrong.

Ashamed. While the election is over now, the most difficult part for me is contemplating what this tells me about so many of my fellow Americans. Even there, however, I want to avoid black and white thinking, because for some (many?) there are good reasons to be angry and frustrated, even if this does not really justify channeling that anger into this candidate. But their pain and fear is real and for some (many?) not linked to hatred or bigotry.

This is why we have (and value) checks & balances. Not obstructionism, but the push & pull of deliberation, weighing trade-offs, balancing perspectives and interests.

More importantly, perhaps, this is why we value kindness and collaboration and empathy. The call to 'be the change we want to see in the world' is a challenge because it is never easy.

Right now, even in the face of this horrifying triumph of ugliness, even more so for those who are offended by him, we need to find ways to be the change, to respond with love and kindness and collaboration and empathy...to make democracy work despite our weakness.

Every conversation is sacred.

It is possible, maybe even likely, that I am looking to far into the future today, or that I am being naive, or both. Maybe this is how I cope with really bad news.