The Freedom to Learn from Others: Losing Graciously & Winning Humbly

I do not know Alfred Lubrano, a Philadelphia Inquirer staff writer, but I learned something from his story about his father today.

“For guys like my dad, Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama are hard to take because, while they clearly are smart, they appear to be bloodless, egg-heady, and generally disconnected from the world of rough hands and rigor.

Of course, Trump is a guy who looks like he takes a limo to the bathroom. But for blue-collar guys, people who are rich are all right, since everybody wants to be rich.

Trump, my father concluded, is a pragmatist, just like him and other blue-collar guys….”

Stories like this are important, particularly for those like me who see Trump as the most indecent, thin-skinned, and unfit president-elect imaginable. Without reducing this to an either/or and concluding that he is not indecent, I have to reconcile my perspective with the perspective of others who see him as man who gets things done and speaks like a man who gets things done.

I would like a president who gets things done. No one can deny that gridlock hurts American families. Separate from all the persuasive arguments about Republican obstructionism causing the gridlock (at least partly motivated by race) and about hate-filled rhetoric…will he get things done? What will he get done?

I am reminded of something my favorite political scientist once said:

“Democracy is a system for the resolution of conflict, not for vengeance. Simple black-white notions of right and wrong do not fit into democratic politics. Political controversies result from the fact that the issues are complex, and men may properly have differences of opinion about them. The most terrible of all over-simplifications is the notion that politics is a contest between good people and bad people.

“Democracy is based on a profound insight into human nature, the realization that all men are sinful, all are imperfect, all are prejudiced, and none knows the whole truth. That is why we need liberty and why we have an obligation to hear all men. Liberty gives us a chance to learn from other people, to become aware of our own limitations, and to correct our bias.

“Even when we disagree with other people we like to think that they speak from good motives, and while we realize that all men are limited, we do not let ourselves imagine that any man is bad. Democracy is a political system for people who are not sure that they are right.”

In our current post-election disunity, I feel myself pulled daily toward believing ever more deeply in the righteousness of my own position, and the dangerous and harmful wrong-headedness of the coalition headed by our president-elect. 

And yet, this story from Philly and reminder from Schattschneider pushes me to seek instead to learn from my fellow Americans, to become more aware of my own limited perspective and experience, and to correct my own biases, to balance generosity and a respect for the game itself with the vigilance and pragmatic problem-solving focus of a loyal opposition. To lose graciously and help make it more possible that he might enact winning humbly.

Reading Alfred's story about his dad leaves me wondering if I am too stubborn to consider that I am not sure that I am right. And that finding a way to recognize this is what I need to do now for myself, my community and country.